Bonding During Dinner

What do you usually talk about during dinner? Sometimes, if dinner isn't structured, it can get a bit boring. You know, like when nobody talks about anything, and it just turns monotonous. Everyone just ends up saying the same thing—'How's your day? Good. How's your day? Good.' And that's it, with no one having anything else to talk about.

On the flip side, sometimes dinner conversations feel a bit forced. I have felt before like you have to talk about something just for the sake of it, even if you're not really interested, or you only want to say one or two sentences about your day. But because you want to keep the conversation going, you end up talking about it at length, and actually, no one's really interested in it anyway.

One of the parents in my little lion's school recommended 'conversation cards' to us. It's a stack of cards that you can find in most bookshops and certainly online, with about 100 cards that have all sorts of questions. They're designed to spark topics of conversation, bringing up things you don't usually think to ask each other. Some of the questions might be a bit controversial or make the kids a little uncomfortable, like asking, 'What is one thing about your parents that you don't like?'

When that question came up, my first thought was: I don't know which to choose!

My second thought was: Will any of these answers get back to the person I'm talking about?

My third thought: I better prepare myself for some feedback!

Before starting these conversation cards, I would recommend some ground rules so that the cards don't inadvertently do the opposite of "better bonding" they were intended to do. We all agreed that we would answer these questions honestly and politely, with no right or wrong answers and no punishment for what is said. Any feedback can be put into the next family meeting. We don't discuss and implement during dinner because it can turn heated if people are not prepared or thought through the issues fully.

Back to the question: 'What is one thing your parents do that you don’t like?'. Our son initially felt uncomfortable to answer. So, one of us answered first, sharing one thing we didn't like about our own parents. It was refreshing for him to see that it’s normal to have things you don't like about your parents, and that it's okay.

You don't have to like everything about the someone you love.