How to Find "Me" Time: Lessons from Burnout

You know, when you're feeling burnt out, the advice you often hear is to take some time for yourself. "You need to take care of yourself." "You should find some 'me' time".

Much much much easier said than done.

Whenever you're running on thin ice or fumes, strung really tight, however you methaphorise your physiology: you google 'what to do burnout'.

Then you read that standard advice, and the first thing you think is: "It's not realistic. How on earth am I going to take time for myself when I already don't have enough time for everything else? Taking time for myself feels like it will just make me fall even further behind."

I've been burnt out a few times in my life.

In one of my worst burnouts, I was so tired I accidentally sent a message meant for my husband to the company's WhatsApp group, venting about the company. That was a bit embarrassing, to say the least. I had a stern chat with my manager the next day at work. Around that time too, I also fell asleep at the wheel, not while driving luckily but while waiting for the traffic light to turn green. Still, that was a shock to my self awareness when I realise I micro-slept at the wheel.

I also developed vitiligo from feeling so stressed out. And I've had a permanent nerve injury in my fingers and wrist that flares up whenever I feel stressed. I used to think it was carpal tunnel syndrom or a symptom of over use. Then I noticed I never feel this injury when I'm doing hard labor (cleaning my mom's house from top to bottom, moving furniture). I can also lift weights in the gym and it never hurts, just sometimes feel weak.

How did I recover from my burn out? Mandatory 'me' time by doctors who signed me off work for 3 days. I decided to see a doctor after one day in the middle of working my vision became blurry. I thought it was a vertigo issue then he said I need to take a break from work. After 1 day I went back to the office to pick up some work stuff and apologised for going sick for 3 days. Tried to work from home but after 5 minutes at the screen my vision became blurry again. I was literally forced to do nothing.

So, I don't know what other advice to give to other burnt-out, overworked moms out there. The 'me' time is a genuinely good and effective advice, but implementing it is the struggle. I constantly feel guilty whenever I take some me time. Often, it ends up being forced, either through sickness or a pre-booked holiday. And during that forced time out, when you can't do anything, you step away from the situation and gain a different perspective. That’s when you think, oh my God, I really needed that time off.

It boils down to giving yourself permission to take a break. It's really hard, especially for overworked moms juggling so many responsibilities. So many people rely on moms for so many different things. It's normal to think, oh, it's okay, I’ll just do this one small thing. You worry about the impact on everyone else if you completely take a break.

For me, what worked was forced time off. Try not to have it in the form of sickness though, it was not a pleasant experience.

Maybe book a time to get away from your house or routine for at least three days. If it's just one or two, you think you'll catch up the next day. I find that on the third is when I really get that other perspective. You can pre-book a holiday every few months, go camping, or visit relatives—just make sure they won't stress you out.

It doesn't need to cost a lot of money. The important thing is to be in a different place, a different environment, preferably not in your city. Getting away gives you that chance to recharge. That's what I can offer from my experiences with burnout. You have to force rest, or it will be forced on you.