Reflecting on Resentment and Value for Money

Have you ever felt a bit of resentment towards a child? I think every mom has felt this, no matter how their child is. It's harder when your child is older because you have more expectations for them, thinking they understand empathy and gratefulness better.

So this happened just before we went on holiday. I made an offhand promise because he wanted to bring all these toys that couldn't fit in the suitcase assigned to him.

I said (while going back and forth around the whole house trying to pack for 3 people) "you don't need to pack so many toys because I'll buy you at least one toy while we're on holiday".

I was comfortable saying that because it tends to happen anyway, whenever we go away, he tends to see some random toy, and we're like, okay, fine, you can buy it.

Sure enough, a week into our holiday, he saw a toy truck and reminded me while we walked past the toy shop, "Hey Mama, you said you'd buy me a toy."

I agreed, and then he picked one of the biggest toys. I said, "Oh no, that's a bit outside my budget," and asked him to find something within a certain range.

He looked around and found two things, both a bit outside the range. I thought, okay, since he was really stuck between both, I'll make an exception. He chose a toy and played with it as much as he could but only for two days. After that, it got some sand in it, and he claimed it was broken. It was just a little stuck but not completely unusable. Then, it just became a decoration.

Initially, I felt annoyed. I thought, if you only get two days' use out of it, what was the point? It was quite pricey!

I realized this was a reflection on me — on what I feel is good value for money and what I think about gratefulness.

This experience made me think about other things, like going out for days out. I reached a point where I didn't want to go anymore because whether we went out or stayed home, he'd throw a tantrum or complain about something. My husband pointed out that if I kept thinking that way, we'd never build memories together. He had a point, but I felt you can still build memories at home, even if you're a bit bored.

All of this reflects on my attitude towards money — thinking if I spend it, we should have a good time with no arguments or upsets, which isn't realistic. These are just some reflections about value for money and how your values and beliefs reflect on your interactions with your children, and what they see.